Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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