Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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