I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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