im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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