I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
