can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
