i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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