I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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