what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
