VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
