Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
