apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize