Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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