there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
