Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
