If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
