please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
