man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
