We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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