Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
