I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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