I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize