dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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