if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
