i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
