i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
