like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
