im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
