Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
