He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
