I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
whose ass print is on the piano?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize