Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A bitchslap is in order.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
