What a fucking waste of an outfit
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You're like the curious george of whores
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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