I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
