No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
