dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
