I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
