chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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