im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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