Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
