Pregnant stripper...not hot.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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