Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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