The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
