this boner is exhausting
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
