he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
even my farts smell like vagina
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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