Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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