She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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