i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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