Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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