Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
