Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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