I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
