I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
