I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
