dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
