We won't sleep together?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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