Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
