could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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