Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
