Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
