I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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