We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
