Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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